Alan Watts opens The Wisdom of Insecurity, in its Preface, with what he calls the backwards law: reach for something too hard and it slips away, ease off and it arrives on its own. Try to float and you sink. Stop struggling and the water holds you up. He ties the same pattern to security: chase safety hard enough and the chasing itself is what keeps you anxious, because the effort to feel secure never quite believes its own results. This isn't an argument for passivity. It's a warning about where force actually helps and where it backfires. This morning, look for the one thing you are gripping hardest, a plan, a reply, a worry, and loosen your hold on it by exactly one notch. Notice whether easing off gets you closer to what gripping never could.
I have always been fascinated by the law of reversed effort. Sometimes I call it the "backwards law." When you try to stay on the surface of the water, you sink; but when you try to sink you float. When you hold your breath you lose it.
Alan Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity, Preface